The most expensive aspects of a luxury wedding have nothing to do with the ceremony or reception (2024)

Splurging isn't the point

Though a luxury wedding will have a high budget, it won't look over the top if it's done well, as multiple wedding planners told Business Insider.

"There's a certain line that once you cross it, it just feels ostentatious, and it feels boring, frankly," said Alison Laesser-Keck, who founded Alison Bryan Destinations, a high-end wedding planning company that's worked with stars including Joey King.

"They're not hosting these luxurious experiences for their guests to be like, 'Oh, wow, they spent a fortune,'" Laesser-Keck added of her clients.

Marcy Blum, an event planner who has worked with stars such as LeBron James, told BI her clients often tell her they don't want to "show off" their wealth at their weddings.

"Someone will call me and go, 'We want to talk to you, but we don't need to show our money,'" she said, adding that she can almost recite their request word for word because it's such a common ask for her clients.

Instead, many couples with massive budgets take the "quiet luxury" approach to their weddings, focusing on how to give their guests a memorable experience instead of splurging on flashy decor.

"I think the most important part of everything today for us is guest experience," Colin Cowie, who has planned everything from the Fontainebleau Las Vegas opening party to Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck's wedding, said.

"We were quiet luxury before that was even a word like 20 years ago," Jung Lee, the founder of FÊTE, agreed. "It's always been about the guest experience and really taking care of the guest and being super duper thoughtful from beginning to end."

"The weddings are still extremely extravagant," Blum said. "It's just a different vibe."

A relaxed guest is the goal

Dozens of small things come together to create the ideal experience for guests at a luxury wedding, the experts told BI.

"Our clients are hyper-sensitive to the fact that they want to give people the experience of a lifetime, something that they would never be able to have on their own," Laesser-Keck said.

For many luxury clients, that one-of-a-kind experience starts with providing their guests with transportation to the wedding — and not just run-of-the-mill buses or Uber rides.

"We can bring you lakeside on boats or have people arrive on horse-drawn carriages or maybe a smaller group driving in vintage sports cars along the Italian countryside," Cowie said of examples of high-end transportation.

Laesser-Keck and Lee said many clients also pay for their guests' airfare for destination weddings, even chartering private jets. They'll also rent out entire properties so their guests don't have to pay for lodging.

"They're not just looking to host destination weddings; they're looking to host vacations for all their guests," Laesser-Keck said. "Even outside the events themselves, now our clients will pay for breakfasts and lunches for the guests because they never want people to think about what's going on their credit card ever."

Likewise, many of Blum's clients own the properties where they host weddings, and they spend most of their budgets on creating luxury spaces that their guests will think have always been there.

"If we build a wedding with seven tents, which we've done, basically three-quarters of the budget is going to go to water and restrooms and pipes and digging things," Blum said. "Nobody is ever going to see or have any idea that was happening, but that's how you have to get there."

"It didn't look like they were throwing money at it, even though it was clear it was expensive," she added.

Seamless service and meaningful gifts make all the difference

Once they arrive, the luxury experience for guests continues. It's standard for these events to serve expensive wine and high-end dishes like wagyu steak, as well as for couples to provide guests with personalized welcome gifts, the planners said.

"You're going to make sure there's a gift in the room for them upon arrival, whether it's a local bottle of wine or a fragrant candle, and of course an itinerary reminding them of all the events and what to wear, where to be, what time," Cowie said.

Couples also splurge on additional experiences to make the wedding weekend stand out for their guests. Laesser-Keck pointed to a wedding she planned where a couple hosted a golf-themed party for guests that included custom outfits for everyone, while Lee spoke of a wedding that provided hair and makeup appointments with professional artists for the attendees.

Blum, on the other hand, is in the process of building a boardwalk for a welcome party so it fits with the New England setting.

"It's just really about spoiling their guests," Lee said of her clients' approach to customization.

And the cherry on top of these weddings is the seamless service, where the planners and their teams ensure everything runs smoothly, from the wedding beginning on time to catering to guests' dietary restrictions.

"You're never looking for a drink. There's never a line at the bar," Blum said of her events. "That costs money."

At the end of the day, it's the service that makes all the difference.

"People will say that was the best wedding ever, but nobody said that because they had a 30-foot cake," Lee said. "When you feel so taken care of every step of the way, it fills your heart."